May 11

Who you are

You have an ear for the other person. In an argument you can hear what someone is actually upset about, which is usually two subjects away from what they are shouting about, and you can say it back to them in words they will accept. Households run smoother with you in them. So do meetings, dinners and long car journeys.

This is not weakness, whatever your louder relatives think. Keeping your temper in a room where two people have lost theirs takes more strength than joining in. You have a spine underneath the warmth, and the people who have pushed you far enough to find it usually only did it once. It is a memorable afternoon for everybody involved.

Your gifts

• An ear for the other side. You hear what someone is really upset about, not the version they are saying.
• Warmth with a spine. You stay kind under pressure without becoming anybody's doormat.
• Blend, not erasure. You can hold your own view while genuinely making room for someone else's.

Your shadow

Peace kept at any price stops being peace. You smooth over the thing that needed saying, agree in the room and disagree in the car, and let small injuries pile up quietly for years because raising them would spoil an evening. Then it comes out all at once, badly, over something trivial, and everyone is baffled by how much was in there.

Your soul work

Your work is to keep your own position while you make room for somebody else's. Practise saying what you think first, before you have heard where the room is going. Someone who has only ever agreed does not yet know whether their agreement is a choice.

Days you get along with

Your sign

The second sign turns the spark into something that lasts. Taurus carries the gift of steadiness, the love of the senses, and the lesson of letting go.

Someone else

Look up another birthday

Check a friend's day, or your partner's, and send it to them.